If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
