I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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