Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
