Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
