I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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