pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
