i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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