Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
