i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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