i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
