I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
