remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
