the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
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