i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
