11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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