i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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