Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
ttyl tear gas
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
