there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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