I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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