the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
