if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
bring money and cleavage
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
