the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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