I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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