You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
