So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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