I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
