We won't sleep together?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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