I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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