She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
