Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
