Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
