Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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