you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
