I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
dude. I can hear the air.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
