she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Just invented taco cereal.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
