I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
