I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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