i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Randomize
