I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
