Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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