Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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