I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
