The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
handjob tips. give me some.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
