barbara walters just said penis...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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