i barfeds in our rink
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
