her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
