I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
