sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
