I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize