i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
