Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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